Tonight I will go to bed proud!

Even though I am happy with my life and decisions, I have been in a rut. I haven’t been making healthy choices, and I have pretty much been lazy, lazy, lazy!

At first I told myself I was enjoying the downtime for the first time since having babies. I deserve it, right?

Okay, but after 6 months of relaxation, it’s time to get ME back. I miss the me from 10 years ago who would feel great after a day of cleaning, organizing, whatever the project was. I miss the me who could concentrate on a task and get it done. Yes, housework is overrated, but I also feel better mentally when I have a clean house. Mine isn’t a dump by any means, but I don’t keep up on the basics.

It isn’t about the cleaning, but more a sense of accomplishment.

I also haven’t been productive at work like I used to be. My job is getting busy and will only get busier until early November when my project is complete. I need to focus and get caught up before I am hit with even more items to process. I will regret it later if I don’t. Plus I could REALLY use the overtime pay.

Today I WILL be productive. I WILL go to bed tonight pleased with the things I accomplished.

Where have I been??

Wow, it’s been a while!

Life has changed, that’s for sure.

Probably about the time of my last post, I started seriously thinking about leaving my husband. I had thought about it for years.  If I’m being completely honest, I had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind before we even got married. I knew, somewhere deep down, we weren’t right together.

The holidays were tough to get through, knowing I had made the decision to leave. I started acting really weird, and he asked me about it the day after Christmas. I officially moved out February 28.

LONG story short. The divorce is getting closer to being final. I am buying a house in a few months (assuming no problems arise). I have a new, WONDERFUL boyfriend. Life is great!

Except for one thing.

I am FAT!

I have gained back almost all of the weight I had lost. Like within a few pounds. It’s time to get back on track. It’s high time I get back to blogging. It’s time to start LIVING this wonderful life I am creating for myself!

I’m still doing awesome!

I have a cold and work is still busy, so I’m going to keep this short and sweet.

~ I am officially down a pant size! My size 22s feel great! Time to start looking for the next size down so I’m ready when I get there.

~ I didn’t eat ANY Halloween candy that night! It didn’t tempt me one bit, so it was easy to stay out of it. I’m still baffled by it, but I’ll take it! I did eat a few pieces yesterday and found I couldn’t eat much before my stomach started to get upset.

~ I lost 2 pounds at Weight Watchers, bringing my total to 11.2 with WW and 23.2 total. Yeah! I was 260 even, so next time I weigh-in I WILL be in the 250s.

~ I have a MUCH needed Girls Weekend next weekend. No WW next week. I plan to enjoy myself without going totally crazy on food. We’re staying at a place along a walking/biking path, so I’m hoping to get outside for a few walks and/or runs.

That’s it for now!

Running and a Weigh-In

Work is still busy (about 2 weeks to go! Woohoo!) and this week has been harder to eat well. It was also my 10 year wedding anniversary. We didn’t do much, but we did get pizza for the family for supper. It was SO GOOD, yet I know I always retain water like crazy after I eat it. So…I wasn’t surprised to see a gain at Weight Watchers.

I was up a full pound. That’s okay. I expected it. I know I didn’t make the best choices, not even considering the pizza. I am already working on making better choices this week, so that I see a loss next week. Hopefully I can break through 10 pounds.

Good news! I started running again! I re-started the C25k program and just completed my third day in a row. It feels AMAZING and I’m actually still in better shape than I thought! Yesterday I had my best time ever of 14:26. I think the cooler weather is helping. And it’s soooo nice to get outside and enjoy some of this beautiful weather before winter hits.

I have to keep this short and get to work. Hopefully in a couple of weeks I can blog more often!

Weigh In – Week 4 or 5?

I think this is actually Week 5. I guess the day I joined Weight Watchers was Week 1.

This past week was ROUGH. I didn’t track much. I was snacking way too much. I found I physically can’t eat as much as I used to, so that’s good. Work is insane for then next few weeks, so then I want to shovel my face full of food.

I almost skipped WW yesterday. I just knew I had gained. But I decided to go and face the music. I would be happy if I only gained a pound. I was sure it would be 2 or 3.

I was telling the leader about this as she weighed me. Then she says “You lost!”. I said “WHAT?!?!” I lost .4 pounds!! I’m still in shock!

So this week, no matter how busy and crazy life is, I will track and have an awesome week. I will hopefully hit 10 pounds next week!

Weight Watchers – Week 3

Holy crap – I AM doing this!!!!

Today was my Weight Watchers meeting, and I expected a loss. I wasn’t sure how much. I was surprised and very happy to see a loss of 2.8 pounds!! That is 9.6 pounds in the 3 weeks since I joined WW. That’s about 22 total down from my heaviest. I am now 262 and cannot WAIT to see the 250s!

My jeans are getting looser. Sometimes I find myself pulling them up because they’re falling down. I’m not sure I’m quite ready to go down a size, but I know it won’t be long.

I am sooooo happy things have finally clicked! I am feeling better than I have in years and I know I will keep this up.

Here’s to another fantastic week! I wonder if I can break 10 pounds next week??

Weight Watchers – Week 2

My second week on Weight Watchers went okay. I hadn’t really been counting points, even though I was watching what I was eating. I definitely snacked on too many almonds, without measuring, and didn’t drink enough water a few days. Even though work is crazy and I’m stressed about the workload (happens every year, it’ll work out), I decided I have to start being diligent about counting points. So I started Friday.

I felt like my pants were a bit looser this week. That feels great! I can hardly wait to fit back into my smaller pair of jeans that I’ve only worn once or twice. I should try them on and see how close they are.

I weighed on Saturday and lost .2 pounds. I knew I wouldn’t have a crazy number, but thought I’d squeak out a little more than that. It’s okay though…I’m just glad I lost! And I think I will see a better loss next week if I stick with it.

Yesterday was a CRAZY day with the kids so I wasn’t able to get much work done. They’re gone now and I have a quiet house for a couple of hours. Time to buckle down and make use of my time!!

Just over a month and my work project will be done…

Weight Watchers – Week 1

This past week was great! I really feel like my head is in it this time.

For the first time in a long time, maybe EVER, I believe I can reach my lifetime goal. I am starting to visualize myself returning to the smaller person I used to be – and beyond. Even when I got married and felt amazing, I still wanted to lose another 20 pounds or so. Looking back, I don’t think I truly believed in myself.

Now I am feeling much different. There is no reason in the world I can’t reach my ultimate goal weight. And keep it off! I maintained my loss before. I can do it again. I can break the cycle of obesity in my family.

Let’s get to my first week’s weigh-in. I started Weight Watchers at 271.4, down from my high of 283. Yesterday I weighed 265 for a one week loss of 6.4 pounds!! I will take it and embrace it!!!!

I am ecstatic! More importantly, I feel great. I am sleeping really well. I am in a better mood. I am fueling my body with the nourishment it needs, and my body is thanking me.

Now…onto Week 2!!

The Honeymoon Phase

Just half a week on Weight Watchers and I’m already learning some things. Or perhaps it’s not learning so much, as I already knew these things. But my awareness is raised. My desire to be healthy is raised. In turn, I am making better choices. I cannot wait for an excellent weigh-in on Saturday!

 

~ I have discovered that I eat entirely too much cheese and nuts. Even though they’re healthy, I eat too many of them.

~ I have learned that I sleep better when I go to bed without a full stomach.

~ I have learned that I can enjoy my favorite foods and still lose weight.

 

Cutting out things like breads, crackers, all extra sugar…it works. I lost 13 pounds in one month by doing this. I felt great! But it seems this isn’t good for me in the long run. I have done nothing but yo-yo for the past few years. Apparently following my “no bread” plan leaves me feeling deprived. I fight it and fight it, until one day I totally binge. And a lot of times those binges turn into days or weeks of unhealthy eating.

I don’t eat as many breads as I used to, so it’s not all bad. The past year I just haven’t cared enough to watch what I eat. Now that I’m serious about it, it’s easier to avoid the breads. I just need to figure out how to allow myself to have them occasionally, without going overboard.

These past few days have been GREAT! I feel like I’m in the honeymoon phase and I know this won’t always be easy, but so far I am completely on track! I am going to enjoy this while it lasts.

I think part of the reason this has been easy is because I have worked to clean up my diet the past few years. Eating healthier has become a habit. I just need to learn how to avoid bingeing. I need to learn how to allow those indulgences – within my points – when I feel I need them.

Work is getting CRAZY but I’m just not motivated to work. I will pay for that in October.

I made a commitment

I have been married for almost 10 years. Before I got married, I lost 43 pounds by following the Weight Watchers plan by myself at home. I felt amazing! I still had about 20 pounds to lose, but I felt great! I had kept it off for a few years too.

Just Married! Oct 23, 2004

We went to Hawaii on our honeymoon. I gained 7 pounds. Then I gained 50 pounds with each of my three pregnancies. I didn’t lose all the weight from any of them, and my last one I lost maybe 4 pounds.

A few years ago, I decided I was going to lose weight. On my own. Again. I’ve had some success. I’ve lost a bit, some months were great. But then I’d put it back on. I’m tired of the yo-yoing. I’m tired of very little progress. I’m tired of having no energy.

After thinking about it all week, and basically hitting rock bottom, I joined Weight Watchers. My first meeting was yesterday and I weighed in at 271.4, only 12 pounds down from my heaviest. Now I know their scale is probably a bit heavier than mine, just because I went after breakfast, but I will use their number for now.

I will show the “before” pictures I took yesterday at some point. I don’t feel ready yet. Here is another picture of me at my heaviest…not a great picture, but I think it’s obvious how much heavier I am that in my wedding picture.

Jan1-2013

I love online tools and support groups, but I need that personal support. I don’t have the kind of support I need at home, and this group of women I found seems great. I hope I can always make that day/time work.

I didn’t want to spend the money. Things are TIGHT for us. But I’m working my tail off couponing, and I probably save the monthly membership in one week of couponing. I deserve it. I need it. I need and want to do something positive for myself.

The moment I decided to join WW, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. It feels like the right decision, at the right time. I can hardly weight to go next week!