Fricking Fracking Stress!

I don’t keep up on anything anymore. I have many half-finished projects. I always have excuses why I can take “just tonight” off and relax. Tomorrow I’ll get something done. Tomorrow I have the same excuses. It’s like my dad always says, tomorrow never gets here!

I know if I keep myself moving, I get more done. When I get more done, I FEEL better. I sleep better. I wake up in a better mood and don’t feel defeated right out of the gate. It’s a no-brainer, really. And yet I continue with the excuses.

I have no idea what my weight is right now. I definitely feel fuller in my stomach. I know that’s primarily because I snack too much in the evenings. Marcus is eating better these days, which helps, but it hasn’t stopped me from snacking. A lot of times I eat nuts and raisins, which is great, but I know I eat too much of them. And I shouldn’t be eating more than that at night. The extras need to stop.

Work is getting crazy and I’m just not motivated to do it! I am so completely exhausted by the end of October each year…it’s tough to make myself work extra right now. But I have to or it’ll be even worse later. I feel the “stress ball” in my stomach growing. I’ve learned this is where I store my stress. I’ve also learned that running helps. When I run, I can literally feel the stress leaving my body. So why don’t I get back to running?? On the one hand, I know if I take time to run, I will feel better and probably be more productive. On the other hand, I feel like I just have too much to do to take time off. And yet here I am blogging. Hmm…

Right now isn’t the best time to go all gung ho on a diet plan, although that doesn’t mean I can’t make an effort to make better choices. The #1 thing I am working on – starting NOW – is to chug the water! I’ve been slacking on it the past few weeks, and I feel better when I drink more. Plus if I’m really focusing on drinking more, I feel fuller which helps to minimize the endless snacking.

Somehow I need to get my shit together again. I can’t put too much pressure on myself for the next couple of months, but I still need to do the best I can. My hope is to get through this crazy work project with my sanity intact, and come out of it with some solid goals. Maybe I need to treat myself like a child and make a sticker chart or something. Ha! I’m sort of serious too…I need a visual way to “reward” myself for reaching my goals.

If I can work it out, I would love to take a full week off work when the kids are in school. I’m sure daycare will take time off to screw that up, though. It always happens. I understand it, but I also haven’t had much “me time” since we switched to this daycare 3 years ago. It’s much better than the previous one, so I have no regrets, I’m just missing my time.

Okay, so I can start some goals NOW. Today I will drink lots of water. And I will focus on work. I have a lot to do and will feel better at the end of the day knowing I did all I could do.

Do you have any tips to help me get through the next 7 or 8 weeks? Do you have any ideas on how I get track my goals?

New Routines

It’s been a good day. It’s the first full day of school. We’re trying something new this year, so I got to watch my daughters get on the bus this morning. I haven’t been able to do that very much, so this is nice. And they’re going to a program after school that helps them with homework, so I am VERY excited. Weeknights get stressful with everything that has to get done, and trying to help kids with homework isn’t easy. I don’t know how to teach, and Cameron doesn’t listen to me. The student/tutor environment will be excellent for her.

Now my son is the only one in daycare! Yay for saving money!! Plus the drive to daycare was actually pleasant this morning, because there was no one else to pester him. He can look out the window without getting yelled at. Yes, that really happens…poor kid can’t even look out his sister’s window without her yelling at him. Sigh…

Anyway, even though work is crazy right now, I’m trying to make healthier choices. They’re still far from perfect, but I can tell my husband is making dietary changes. Plus I’ve been busy canning tomatoes so I don’t have as much time to sit and eat all night. It feels good to be productive too.

Today, I went for my first run in probably 6 weeks. I’m starting the C25k program over with Week 1 Day 1. It felt great!! And my time was 15:10! What?! I can hardly believe it. I’m hoping to continue. The next 2 months at work are insanely busy, but I will run as much as I can!

Life is really getting a bit easier as the kids get older. I can do more things around the house without having to supervise them constantly. And I am working on my patience and making letting them help more with things like sweeping, vacuuming and other projects I can find. Last night Cameron helped me carry Target bags into the house. Little things like that are a big help!

I’m not sure how much I’ll be blogging for the next couple of months. If I do, I might have to keep them short. I definitely want to keep running and posting about that!

Overall life is good and getting better all the time. I am hopeful with how things are changing, it’ll be easier to take care of myself.

Another quick check-in

I have been neglecting my blog. Life is crazy right now! This week in particular is really bad.

We don’t have daycare all week. My mother-in-law, who is usually able to help watch kids, is recovering from foot surgery. I have no one to watch Kody so I am working at home most of the week.

On top of this, Marcus had a colonoscopy Monday, so I spent half the day sitting in the hospital. Then Friday my mom is having weight loss surgery, but we don’t know what time, so I will be spending more time in the hospital. Luckily my dad is taking my kids overnight so I don’t have to worry about them for the day.

Work is busy, so I need to work in the evenings to try to stay caught up. That is pretty much impossible this time of year, but I need to do what I can now so I can maybe avoid some 60 hour weeks later.

That pretty much sums up my crazy life right now. No, I haven’t been running, and I miss it!

The good news is I have lost 2.9 pounds in the past 10 days or so that my friend and I have been sending pics to each other of what we eat. It has really helped me to keep things under control. I haven’t eaten perfect, but knowing I have to show her what I’m eating makes me stop eating sooner.

That’s about it…hopefully I’ll have time soon to catch up on reading your blogs!

How could I forget??

I totally forgot to mention my main reason for posting! My best friend and I started something this week…everything we eat, we send a picture to each other. So far it’s helping! I don’t care if she knows I eat a piece of pizza, yet I don’t want her to know if I eat an entire pizza. I’m hoping it will keep the indulgences down.

Yesterday was a really hard day. I was thinking about food ALL day! I think I have PMS right now, so that’s not helping. But knowing I would have to send her pictures of everything I ate really kept me on track!

So far so good!

A Quick Update

Life is crazy again. Isn’t is always?? Here is a quick update.

We’ve had people stealing from our place in the middle of the night. We’re on a farm and the original homestead has been a dumping ground for 40+ years. We figured out some people were coming and taking steel and stuff, so we got a trail camera and now have proof, although no license plates. I talked to a deputy last week and they had extra patrol in the area. I don’t have any updates, except that I think they’re done. The place is pretty much cleaned out now. It went on for almost 3 weeks and I was loosing sleep. I suspect it’s related to a theft ring in our area. We’re not pressing charges…but I want them caught.

I haven’t been running like I was. It’s been a bit humid, and our schedules have gotten crazy. Next week will be worse. I’m still hoping to get out to run a few times each week.

Marcus is having some health issues too. I won’t say much yet since we don’t know much, except that I hope this is a wake-up call that he needs to eat better. It would help me too, and help to teach our kids how they should be eating. I will gladly do it with him if he is on-board with this.

Work is getting busier so I better buckle down here. I really need to start working some in the evenings too, except I keep putting it off. That will make it worse in a month or so, so I need to get myself motivated!

I’ll check in when I can!

PS – I hate how I can’t find my previous tags anymore. The old layout was nice with seeing commonly used tags. Whatever…I’ll have to deal with it! 🙂

Milestones

I have hit numerous milestones this past week.

First my car rolled over 100,000 miles. And I wasn’t even the one driving it to witness the momentous occasion! It’s exciting but sad at the same time. It isn’t quite 5 years old, so I drive a LOT. I still have about 9 months left to pay on it and am already getting New Car Fever. I would love to get something with a 3rd row and hopefully minimize some of the kids’ fighting. They aren’t usually in the car together more than 10 minutes at a time, yet they insist on arguing and making it a brutal 10 minutes. I really can’t consider a new vehicle until this one is paid off though.

Last Friday I took the day off work. I went for a run early in the day and got more steps than I expected. I think I was at 10,000 steps before noon! It was easy to hit 15,000 steps that day…my first time since getting my Fitbit pedometer! I turned around and did the same thing on Saturday.

I’ve been sticking with Week 6 Day 1 of the c25k program. With an 8 minute run and two 5 minute runs, it pushes me. But not so much that I dread it. It’s actually enjoyable now and I am working on increasing my pace. My best time for this run is 16:01, which is great for me! I’m working to get under 16:00, then will consider moving on to the next workout.

After two crazy step days, I was hurting on Sunday. Not a bad hurt, but I could definitely tell I had been working my body harder. I wanted to run knowing I wouldn’t be able to for a couple more days, but listened to my body and just walked. It was kind of enjoyable to not push myself so hard. And it took a good 10 minutes for my body to loosen up enough that I didn’t hurt. It was a wise move on my part.

Now we’re in the middle of two extremely warm and humid days. With no air conditioner (not even a window unit), I am not about to exert myself in the heat. Even a cold shower doesn’t cut it. By the time I’m dried off, I’m dripping in sweat again. It should cool off again tomorrow, so I will be back to running as much as my schedule allows.

I can hardly wait to hit the pavement, or dirt road, again!

Running and Loving It!

Yes, you read that right…I am really looking forward to my runs and actually enjoy them!

Monday night I decided I better do a c25k workout, knowing I wouldn’t be able to on Tuesday. I tackled Week 5 Day 3 which had a 20 minute run. I’ve been scared to do this because the most I had run at once was 8 minutes. Now they want me to do 20?!? I am happy to say I did it! It was hard and I ran cautiously slow, but I did it! My pace was only 17:05, but my legs are still recovering so it was still a good workout.

Today I decided to move on to Week 6 Day 1. This one was much easier with the longest run being 8 minutes. I enjoy it much more when it’s broken up a bit more like that. I was feeling strong and pushing myself a bit more. It showed because my pace was 16:05…a full minute faster than Monday!

I haven’t reported my weigh-ins because I was up last week. I was at 266.3 and know it’s because I hadn’t eaten the best. Today, I weighed in at exactly the same. Again, because I had enough “bad” food days.

In a way, I’m okay with it. I’m feeling great with the running. My moods are better and more stable. And even though my stomach isn’t shrinking (my pants are still snug in that area), I know my legs are getting firmer and stronger.

I definitely need to be more consistent with healthy eating. It should help now that our garden is doing well. We have so much lettuce that I could easily eat two large salads a day and still not be able to eat it all! Cherry tomatoes are slowly coming…I’ve had one so far and it was delicious! And zucchini is more than abundant. I’ll have to whip up a bunch of zucchini meatballs and freeze them…and freeze any extra zucchini!

Anyone watch Downton Abbey? Marcus and I recently started watching it on Amazon Prime. I’m glad we found something we both enjoy and can watch together. We’re now on Season 3 and it’s getting a bit emotional…two nights in a row I wanted to cry!

Yesterday was a struggle!

I am feeling so great since getting more consistent with eating healthy and getting regular exercise. Yesterday I was working at home and wanted to eat crap all day long! No one was home to see me, so why not? I fought All. Day. Long!

I fought the urge through lunch. And the afternoon. And supper. And the evening.

The only thing keeping me from bingeing was focusing on how great I was feeling. And knowing I will indulge over the holiday weekend helped a little bit. It’s okay to indulge occasionally but I need to learn to plan for those times and do well more often.

I am incredibly proud to report that I stayed on track all day!

I woke up in the middle of the night hungry. I just went back to sleep. I am now starving and cannot wait for lunch. I’m trying really, really hard to stay on track today too.

This morning I was feeling a bit lighter, so stepped on the scale. It’s not official until my next weigh-in, but I lost 1.3 pounds in just one day! It made yesterday totally worth it! I’m hoping it’ll help me stick to it today as well.

At work will be easy. I packed my lunch so can only eat what I brought. Tonight could be dicey. I do need to clean the house – bad – so will have to stay busy with that. If I keep moving, I hope it’ll keep my mind focused.

Tomorrow I plan to get up and go for a run right away. Then we’ll be busy with the local 4th of July parade and other festivities.

What tips do you have for not giving in to temptation?

I feel awesome!

My hard work is starting to pay off! The past few weeks my weigh-ins haven’t been great, but I’ve been okay with them because I know I’m doing the right things and I feel really good. Today I finally saw a nice loss of 1.6 pounds! I am now 263.2 and hoping to be out of the 260s (again) by the end of July. If I keep it up, I should be able to do it.

I’m working at home today, so took advantage of it and went for a run. I repeated Week 5 Day 1 of the C25k program. It got tough towards the end, but I can totally do it. I’m a bit slow, but that’s okay. I’m faster than I was a few weeks ago and I’m not as afraid now of pulling another calf muscle. I’m undecided about moving on since that one has two 8 minute runs. Maybe I’ll just go for it, knowing I can walk a little bit if I have to. If I push myself, I know I can do it though. Okay, decision made! Next workout I will do Week 5 Day 2.

Days I work at home I tend to have a hard time eating well. I’m home alone so sometimes eat crap all day long. I’m trying really, really hard to stay on track today. I’m feeling great so want to keep it up! Plus I know I might not eat the greatest over the holiday weekend, so need to save any indulgences for then.

I still can’t get over how much I am enjoying running. Days I run I am definitely in a better mood. It is amazing!

I am a runner

This morning I took advantage of some unexpected time, and did Week 5 Day 1 of the c25k program. I don’t know why I was so nervous about this particular workout, which included three 5 minute runs. My fitness has really improved and it was relatively easy! I felt amazing and my playlist seemed to be motivating me at the perfect times.

During my last running interval, “How Bad Do You Want It?” started to play. I LOVE THIS SONG! I find it incredibly motivating, and I really pushed myself the last 30 seconds of my run. It was definitely a run and not a jog.

A few short weeks ago, I never thought I’d be able to run for 5 minutes without stopping. Now I can. And it’s really not that hard! I can do this!

For the first time in my life, I feel like I can honestly say:

I am a runner.