Weight Watchers – Week 1

This past week was great! I really feel like my head is in it this time.

For the first time in a long time, maybe EVER, I believe I can reach my lifetime goal. I am starting to visualize myself returning to the smaller person I used to be – and beyond. Even when I got married and felt amazing, I still wanted to lose another 20 pounds or so. Looking back, I don’t think I truly believed in myself.

Now I am feeling much different. There is no reason in the world I can’t reach my ultimate goal weight. And keep it off! I maintained my loss before. I can do it again. I can break the cycle of obesity in my family.

Let’s get to my first week’s weigh-in. I started Weight Watchers at 271.4, down from my high of 283. Yesterday I weighed 265 for a one week loss of 6.4 pounds!! I will take it and embrace it!!!!

I am ecstatic! More importantly, I feel great. I am sleeping really well. I am in a better mood. I am fueling my body with the nourishment it needs, and my body is thanking me.

Now…onto Week 2!!

Fricking Fracking Stress!

I don’t keep up on anything anymore. I have many half-finished projects. I always have excuses why I can take “just tonight” off and relax. Tomorrow I’ll get something done. Tomorrow I have the same excuses. It’s like my dad always says, tomorrow never gets here!

I know if I keep myself moving, I get more done. When I get more done, I FEEL better. I sleep better. I wake up in a better mood and don’t feel defeated right out of the gate. It’s a no-brainer, really. And yet I continue with the excuses.

I have no idea what my weight is right now. I definitely feel fuller in my stomach. I know that’s primarily because I snack too much in the evenings. Marcus is eating better these days, which helps, but it hasn’t stopped me from snacking. A lot of times I eat nuts and raisins, which is great, but I know I eat too much of them. And I shouldn’t be eating more than that at night. The extras need to stop.

Work is getting crazy and I’m just not motivated to do it! I am so completely exhausted by the end of October each year…it’s tough to make myself work extra right now. But I have to or it’ll be even worse later. I feel the “stress ball” in my stomach growing. I’ve learned this is where I store my stress. I’ve also learned that running helps. When I run, I can literally feel the stress leaving my body. So why don’t I get back to running?? On the one hand, I know if I take time to run, I will feel better and probably be more productive. On the other hand, I feel like I just have too much to do to take time off. And yet here I am blogging. Hmm…

Right now isn’t the best time to go all gung ho on a diet plan, although that doesn’t mean I can’t make an effort to make better choices. The #1 thing I am working on – starting NOW – is to chug the water! I’ve been slacking on it the past few weeks, and I feel better when I drink more. Plus if I’m really focusing on drinking more, I feel fuller which helps to minimize the endless snacking.

Somehow I need to get my shit together again. I can’t put too much pressure on myself for the next couple of months, but I still need to do the best I can. My hope is to get through this crazy work project with my sanity intact, and come out of it with some solid goals. Maybe I need to treat myself like a child and make a sticker chart or something. Ha! I’m sort of serious too…I need a visual way to “reward” myself for reaching my goals.

If I can work it out, I would love to take a full week off work when the kids are in school. I’m sure daycare will take time off to screw that up, though. It always happens. I understand it, but I also haven’t had much “me time” since we switched to this daycare 3 years ago. It’s much better than the previous one, so I have no regrets, I’m just missing my time.

Okay, so I can start some goals NOW. Today I will drink lots of water. And I will focus on work. I have a lot to do and will feel better at the end of the day knowing I did all I could do.

Do you have any tips to help me get through the next 7 or 8 weeks? Do you have any ideas on how I get track my goals?

New Routines

It’s been a good day. It’s the first full day of school. We’re trying something new this year, so I got to watch my daughters get on the bus this morning. I haven’t been able to do that very much, so this is nice. And they’re going to a program after school that helps them with homework, so I am VERY excited. Weeknights get stressful with everything that has to get done, and trying to help kids with homework isn’t easy. I don’t know how to teach, and Cameron doesn’t listen to me. The student/tutor environment will be excellent for her.

Now my son is the only one in daycare! Yay for saving money!! Plus the drive to daycare was actually pleasant this morning, because there was no one else to pester him. He can look out the window without getting yelled at. Yes, that really happens…poor kid can’t even look out his sister’s window without her yelling at him. Sigh…

Anyway, even though work is crazy right now, I’m trying to make healthier choices. They’re still far from perfect, but I can tell my husband is making dietary changes. Plus I’ve been busy canning tomatoes so I don’t have as much time to sit and eat all night. It feels good to be productive too.

Today, I went for my first run in probably 6 weeks. I’m starting the C25k program over with Week 1 Day 1. It felt great!! And my time was 15:10! What?! I can hardly believe it. I’m hoping to continue. The next 2 months at work are insanely busy, but I will run as much as I can!

Life is really getting a bit easier as the kids get older. I can do more things around the house without having to supervise them constantly. And I am working on my patience and making letting them help more with things like sweeping, vacuuming and other projects I can find. Last night Cameron helped me carry Target bags into the house. Little things like that are a big help!

I’m not sure how much I’ll be blogging for the next couple of months. If I do, I might have to keep them short. I definitely want to keep running and posting about that!

Overall life is good and getting better all the time. I am hopeful with how things are changing, it’ll be easier to take care of myself.

Running and Loving It!

Yes, you read that right…I am really looking forward to my runs and actually enjoy them!

Monday night I decided I better do a c25k workout, knowing I wouldn’t be able to on Tuesday. I tackled Week 5 Day 3 which had a 20 minute run. I’ve been scared to do this because the most I had run at once was 8 minutes. Now they want me to do 20?!? I am happy to say I did it! It was hard and I ran cautiously slow, but I did it! My pace was only 17:05, but my legs are still recovering so it was still a good workout.

Today I decided to move on to Week 6 Day 1. This one was much easier with the longest run being 8 minutes. I enjoy it much more when it’s broken up a bit more like that. I was feeling strong and pushing myself a bit more. It showed because my pace was 16:05…a full minute faster than Monday!

I haven’t reported my weigh-ins because I was up last week. I was at 266.3 and know it’s because I hadn’t eaten the best. Today, I weighed in at exactly the same. Again, because I had enough “bad” food days.

In a way, I’m okay with it. I’m feeling great with the running. My moods are better and more stable. And even though my stomach isn’t shrinking (my pants are still snug in that area), I know my legs are getting firmer and stronger.

I definitely need to be more consistent with healthy eating. It should help now that our garden is doing well. We have so much lettuce that I could easily eat two large salads a day and still not be able to eat it all! Cherry tomatoes are slowly coming…I’ve had one so far and it was delicious! And zucchini is more than abundant. I’ll have to whip up a bunch of zucchini meatballs and freeze them…and freeze any extra zucchini!

Anyone watch Downton Abbey? Marcus and I recently started watching it on Amazon Prime. I’m glad we found something we both enjoy and can watch together. We’re now on Season 3 and it’s getting a bit emotional…two nights in a row I wanted to cry!

Eviction Notice

Dear Fat,

This is your eviction notice. You must begin to vacate my body immediately. As long as you continue to make progress moving out, I will be patient with you. I know how hard it is to leave a place you have lived for so many years.

But, I am tired of how you make me look. More importantly, I am tired of how you make me feel. All you do is weigh me down, literally and figuratively.

You aren’t doing anyone any good, and are only destroying your residence. I plan to keep my body for a long, long time, and in order to do so I need you to leave.

I am ready to live my life.

Please, leave without a fight to make this easier for both of us.

Signed,

Teresa

Birthday and My New Plan

We are heavy into birthdays at my house right now. My son turned 3 last week, and my daughter turns 6 tomorrow. It’s a busy time and I will be glad when the birthday season is over.

Here are a couple of pictures from Kody’s birthday. I don’t have the one of him with his cake off the camera yet, which is just as well. He got scared when I lit the candles so I have pictures of him crying with his cake! Poor kid. But he LOVED his Scooby Doo cake, and his Planes bike. He’s getting so grown up!

Scooby cake

Scooby cake

Kody loves his Planes bike!

Kody loves his Planes bike!

I started my new food plan yesterday. My goal is to cut out the obvious sugars, bread, crackers, etc. Days I do well, I get 2 Dove dark chocolates. Yesterday was a pretty easy day and the chocolates were delicious! As long as I can limit it to 2 right before bed, I am hopeful this plan will work for me.

Tomorrow won’t be a great food day with my daughter’s birthday, but that’s okay. I’ll enjoy pizza for supper, followed by cake. No chocolates tomorrow night. This doesn’t give me free reign to eat whatever I want, though. I need to learn how to eat well all day, then indulge for the one meal ONLY. Then I have to be back on track Thursday.

I’m really hoping this will allow me some freedom to enjoy things like birthdays or family gatherings. I can and should be able to indulge a little bit for special events. As long as I’m doing well the rest of the time, and get back on track immediately after the event, I will be able to lose the weight and not deprive myself.

I have started adding friends on MyFitnessPal and am enjoying it. If you’d like to add me, my username is teresainmn.

I had another great Target trip last night. I saved $45! I spent $85 on some groceries, paper products and basic household necessities. Not everything was on sale, but since I’m now watching ads, I hope to only buy things we use regularly when they’re on sale…and hopefully I’ll have a coupon too. Boy, this takes a lot of time, but it sure is addicting!!

Couponing is really helping to lighten my stress level. I’m feeling hopeful and know we can get by with careful planning and cutting out of anything unnecessary.

Do you coupon? Do you have any pointers for me?

Trying to kick my stress to the curb!

The stress in my life has been out of control. Financial stress is the worst right now. When I’m stressed, I eat. When I eat too much, then I don’t lose weight or even gain a few pounds, making me more stressed. Eating more than I need to costs more money, which makes my financial stress worse. It’s a vicious cycle.

There is good news.

I have decided not to be so strict with what I eat. Days I feel like tracking what I eat, I will. Days I feel overwhelmed, I won’t…although I’ll try to make decent choices. I am focusing on moving more. That helps my stress more effectively than eating anyway. Right now I don’t feel as pressured to be perfect. Instead I’m trying to go with the flow and make positive, healthy changes without focusing on the weight loss part.

Yesterday I logged my food and had a good food day! It just clicked and didn’t seem like a daunting task. I feel like doing it again today. Can you believe it?!

I’m also taking some drastic measures to help us makes ends meet financially. I am planning to become a crazy coupon lady! LOL I love Target’s cartwheel app…between that and coupons, I saved $60 last night! And it was all stuff I would have bought anyway. It takes time that I don’t really have, but it’s necessary right now.

I have not had wine in close to a month, and my husband has not bought beer in at least that long. It’s saving money, plus I feel better when I don’t drink. I definitely need to make sure to enjoy alcohol in moderation from now on. It makes me feel bogged down and irritable when I drink it too often.

The past few days I am feeling better emotionally. I feel like I’m making the best changes I can to ease my biggest stress.

Now I just hope I can continue on this upswing…

First jog of the year!

It’s cold out today – mid-20s. But there isn’t much wind, so I took advantage of it and went for my first jog of the year! Well, walking and jogging intervals, actually. It felt great!! I returned to my chaotic home feeling renewed and a bit more energetic and determined. I can’t wait to get out there again!

I also need to get my treadmill fixed so I can use it when I can’t/don’t want to get outside.

How have I been eating? I start out every day great. I usually have a bowl of oatmeal (need to get back into smoothies too), and have cut back on my creamer a bit. Not a ton, but enough that I’m saving some calories and the taste isn’t a drastic change. I can handle it, so will continue with that for a bit longer.

It seems around midday to early evening, my eating goes downhill. It’s been bad. I’d like to blame it on all the Girl Scout cookies we have, but for now they’re in my car so it takes some effort to get to them. But still, I’ll be happy when they’re gone. I don’t buy much junk for the house at all, although my husband does. What he does buy doesn’t usually appeal to me that much, so I need to learn to stay out of it.

Today, so far, is going well. Maybe the jogging helped? Or maybe it helps that I’m actually getting some cleaning done around the house? I always feel better after things are picked up and clean. For the few moments it lasts anyway.

My son-who-refuses-to-nap today needs me. Off to help him. Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Trying to find balance

I guess I haven’t been feeling the blog thing lately. I only blog when I feel compelled to, and not because I feel like I have to. So what have I been up to?

I have been back on Prozac for a week now. I honestly feel better already. There have been a few times when Marcus has asked me why I’m in such a good mood. Ha! I hate that I have been crabby for so long, but hopefully it will change now.

Finding the right balance is going to take some time, but I’m hopeful I will find what works for me. And that includes everything in life, not just health stuff. I am focusing on my personal health right now, and will add other focuses later…or perhaps they will just fall into place as I become happier and healthier.

Anyway, thanks to my fitbit group, I am getting more consistent with tracking my food. Even when I make bad food choices, I am learning to log those calories anyway. It keeps me from going totally overboard, and hopefully I will still see a deficit at the end of the week.

I am also actively working to increase my daily steps. I am up to 7000 steps each day, consistently. It’s still a challenge, but getting easier. I do lots of jogging in place, and can tell my stamina is increasing.

I suppose I should throw a weigh-in in here. This morning I was 256.2, so have about 4 pounds of holiday weight left to lose, and 19.2 pounds to my first big goal. That goal is to lose all the weight I gained while pregnant with Kody – 46 pounds! It’s frustrating that I didn’t lose more than a couple after he was born, and he was nearly 10 pounds. But it is what it is, and I’m working on it now. Hopefully by summer it’s gone!

My daughters are both selling Girl Scout cookies this year. Those things are evil!! So far they have stayed in my car. I know we will eat our fair share, but I would like to hold out until the end of the selling cycle. If I start eating them, I won’t be able to stop!

Cameron turns 8 on the 22nd, so I need to get my cake plan together. She wants either a wolf or a penguin cake. I’m not sure I can pull off the wolf, so luckily she is happy with a penguin. I’m glad I started this tradition a few years ago. The kids love their special cake, and I have fun creating them. Some have been a little funky, but they still love them! I promise to post pictures of my creation when it’s done.

I guess that’s about it. Not really exciting, huh?

In case I don’t post before then, I hope all of you have a wonderful Valentine’s Day! Don’t eat too much candy! 😉

Time for Action

Here I go again…not blogging…

I’ve been doing okay, but still up and down as far as am I on track or not. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking the past few weeks, and don’t really have any answers.

I know I am overwhelmed with life most of the time…work, kids, housework, no time for me…and I’m not really doing well at any of this stuff. That’s never how I used to be, before kids. I’m not blaming my kids, but I have really struggled with adjusting to life with kids. I totally let myself go in each and every way. My co-workers don’t realize it, but I’m not longer a star employee. My house is a mess…I have learned to let a lot of things go but I feel better when things are more picked up. I rarely have time for me. Heck, I don’t even have a spot in my house I can go to get away. It’s too small. Honestly, the only place I can go is to lock myself in the bathroom, and then I still hear all the chaos on the other side of the door.

I feel like I never have time for ME. I’m trying to get it all together, but am not really making progress.

And maybe tracking food feels like one more chore I have to do? Even though I pretty much eat the same stuff and am learning to estimate better, even if it’s not exact. For example, I made chili this weekend and found a chili with meat and beans that seems like the calorie count is pretty close. So I use that, and do similar things when I don’t want to enter my recipe and all that.

I also know I am an emotional eater. Big time. Especially when I am stressed or mad, which seems to be all the time these days. When it’s nice out, I can go for a walk or run when my husband is around, and it helps immensely. But this time of year, I can’t do that.

The good news is I have been making a much bigger effort at getting more steps in. I’ve been doing a lot of jogging in place. It’s a great way to pile on the steps, and I can do just a little bit here and there instead of needing to carve out 30 minutes to do an exercise video or whatever.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to turn this into a big sob story. I’ve actually been thinking about all this a lot lately and wonder if it’s time to find a therapist. I know what a lot of my issues are, but am not doing the best at dealing with them. Or go to the doctor and get back on anti-depressants. I know they won’t solve everything, but they definitely help people like me cope.

I am completely open to any advice anyone has. I want to figure this out so I can tackle it and move on to a healthier life!