I made a commitment

I have been married for almost 10 years. Before I got married, I lost 43 pounds by following the Weight Watchers plan by myself at home. I felt amazing! I still had about 20 pounds to lose, but I felt great! I had kept it off for a few years too.

Just Married! Oct 23, 2004

Just Married! Oct 23, 2004

We went to Hawaii on our honeymoon. I gained 7 pounds. Then I gained 50 pounds with each of my three pregnancies. I didn’t lose all the weight from any of them, and my last one I lost maybe 4 pounds.

A few years ago, I decided I was going to lose weight. On my own. Again. I’ve had some success. I’ve lost a bit, some months were great. But then I’d put it back on. I’m tired of the yo-yoing. I’m tired of very little progress. I’m tired of having no energy.

After thinking about it all week, and basically hitting rock bottom, I joined Weight Watchers. My first meeting was yesterday and I weighed in at 271.4, only 12 pounds down from my heaviest. Now I know their scale is probably a bit heavier than mine, just because I went after breakfast, but I will use their number for now.

I will show the “before” pictures I took yesterday at some point. I don’t feel ready yet. Here is another picture of me at my heaviest…not a great picture, but I think it’s obvious how much heavier I am that in my wedding picture.

Jan1-2013

Jan1-2013

I love online tools and support groups, but I need that personal support. I don’t have the kind of support I need at home, and this group of women I found seems great. I hope I can always make that day/time work.

I didn’t want to spend the money. Things are TIGHT for us. But I’m working my tail off couponing, and I probably save the monthly membership in one week of couponing. I deserve it. I need it. I need and want to do something positive for myself.

The moment I decided to join WW, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. It feels like the right decision, at the right time. I can hardly weight to go next week!

Fricking Fracking Stress!

I don’t keep up on anything anymore. I have many half-finished projects. I always have excuses why I can take “just tonight” off and relax. Tomorrow I’ll get something done. Tomorrow I have the same excuses. It’s like my dad always says, tomorrow never gets here!

I know if I keep myself moving, I get more done. When I get more done, I FEEL better. I sleep better. I wake up in a better mood and don’t feel defeated right out of the gate. It’s a no-brainer, really. And yet I continue with the excuses.

I have no idea what my weight is right now. I definitely feel fuller in my stomach. I know that’s primarily because I snack too much in the evenings. Marcus is eating better these days, which helps, but it hasn’t stopped me from snacking. A lot of times I eat nuts and raisins, which is great, but I know I eat too much of them. And I shouldn’t be eating more than that at night. The extras need to stop.

Work is getting crazy and I’m just not motivated to do it! I am so completely exhausted by the end of October each year…it’s tough to make myself work extra right now. But I have to or it’ll be even worse later. I feel the “stress ball” in my stomach growing. I’ve learned this is where I store my stress. I’ve also learned that running helps. When I run, I can literally feel the stress leaving my body. So why don’t I get back to running?? On the one hand, I know if I take time to run, I will feel better and probably be more productive. On the other hand, I feel like I just have too much to do to take time off. And yet here I am blogging. Hmm…

Right now isn’t the best time to go all gung ho on a diet plan, although that doesn’t mean I can’t make an effort to make better choices. The #1 thing I am working on – starting NOW – is to chug the water! I’ve been slacking on it the past few weeks, and I feel better when I drink more. Plus if I’m really focusing on drinking more, I feel fuller which helps to minimize the endless snacking.

Somehow I need to get my shit together again. I can’t put too much pressure on myself for the next couple of months, but I still need to do the best I can. My hope is to get through this crazy work project with my sanity intact, and come out of it with some solid goals. Maybe I need to treat myself like a child and make a sticker chart or something. Ha! I’m sort of serious too…I need a visual way to “reward” myself for reaching my goals.

If I can work it out, I would love to take a full week off work when the kids are in school. I’m sure daycare will take time off to screw that up, though. It always happens. I understand it, but I also haven’t had much “me time” since we switched to this daycare 3 years ago. It’s much better than the previous one, so I have no regrets, I’m just missing my time.

Okay, so I can start some goals NOW. Today I will drink lots of water. And I will focus on work. I have a lot to do and will feel better at the end of the day knowing I did all I could do.

Do you have any tips to help me get through the next 7 or 8 weeks? Do you have any ideas on how I get track my goals?

New Routines

It’s been a good day. It’s the first full day of school. We’re trying something new this year, so I got to watch my daughters get on the bus this morning. I haven’t been able to do that very much, so this is nice. And they’re going to a program after school that helps them with homework, so I am VERY excited. Weeknights get stressful with everything that has to get done, and trying to help kids with homework isn’t easy. I don’t know how to teach, and Cameron doesn’t listen to me. The student/tutor environment will be excellent for her.

Now my son is the only one in daycare! Yay for saving money!! Plus the drive to daycare was actually pleasant this morning, because there was no one else to pester him. He can look out the window without getting yelled at. Yes, that really happens…poor kid can’t even look out his sister’s window without her yelling at him. Sigh…

Anyway, even though work is crazy right now, I’m trying to make healthier choices. They’re still far from perfect, but I can tell my husband is making dietary changes. Plus I’ve been busy canning tomatoes so I don’t have as much time to sit and eat all night. It feels good to be productive too.

Today, I went for my first run in probably 6 weeks. I’m starting the C25k program over with Week 1 Day 1. It felt great!! And my time was 15:10! What?! I can hardly believe it. I’m hoping to continue. The next 2 months at work are insanely busy, but I will run as much as I can!

Life is really getting a bit easier as the kids get older. I can do more things around the house without having to supervise them constantly. And I am working on my patience and making letting them help more with things like sweeping, vacuuming and other projects I can find. Last night Cameron helped me carry Target bags into the house. Little things like that are a big help!

I’m not sure how much I’ll be blogging for the next couple of months. If I do, I might have to keep them short. I definitely want to keep running and posting about that!

Overall life is good and getting better all the time. I am hopeful with how things are changing, it’ll be easier to take care of myself.

Running and Loving It!

Yes, you read that right…I am really looking forward to my runs and actually enjoy them!

Monday night I decided I better do a c25k workout, knowing I wouldn’t be able to on Tuesday. I tackled Week 5 Day 3 which had a 20 minute run. I’ve been scared to do this because the most I had run at once was 8 minutes. Now they want me to do 20?!? I am happy to say I did it! It was hard and I ran cautiously slow, but I did it! My pace was only 17:05, but my legs are still recovering so it was still a good workout.

Today I decided to move on to Week 6 Day 1. This one was much easier with the longest run being 8 minutes. I enjoy it much more when it’s broken up a bit more like that. I was feeling strong and pushing myself a bit more. It showed because my pace was 16:05…a full minute faster than Monday!

I haven’t reported my weigh-ins because I was up last week. I was at 266.3 and know it’s because I hadn’t eaten the best. Today, I weighed in at exactly the same. Again, because I had enough “bad” food days.

In a way, I’m okay with it. I’m feeling great with the running. My moods are better and more stable. And even though my stomach isn’t shrinking (my pants are still snug in that area), I know my legs are getting firmer and stronger.

I definitely need to be more consistent with healthy eating. It should help now that our garden is doing well. We have so much lettuce that I could easily eat two large salads a day and still not be able to eat it all! Cherry tomatoes are slowly coming…I’ve had one so far and it was delicious! And zucchini is more than abundant. I’ll have to whip up a bunch of zucchini meatballs and freeze them…and freeze any extra zucchini!

Anyone watch Downton Abbey? Marcus and I recently started watching it on Amazon Prime. I’m glad we found something we both enjoy and can watch together. We’re now on Season 3 and it’s getting a bit emotional…two nights in a row I wanted to cry!

Fun Weekend! Well, for the most part.

Last Thursday, I finally got outside for a C25k workout. It felt good! I’ve been busy since then so haven’t done it since then, but I should be able to tonight. I think I’m going to try Week 4…and I’m scared! But also excited. This one has 5 minute blocks of running, and things just get more intense from  here. I’ll take it easy though, and won’t move on until I’m feeling good about my progress.

This weekend was fun. I had a mom/daughter/sister weekend! My sister and I headed to my mom’s house on Saturday. I was excited for 24 hours of freedom!!

I'm free!

I’m free!

I was feeling a bit silly that day. I can tell the Prozac is working because I’m having bouts of silliness like I used to have. I’m feeling SO much better!

First we headed to a local winery.

10494401_10204246446707275_462024201_oI got this great picture of me and my sister while we were sitting on the patio enjoying our wine.

10385486_10152076238892315_4316268403313238278_nNot long after we left the winery, we found ourselves at a restaurant with amazing pizza! And more wine!

10471075_10204247158045058_1855503108_oThen we headed back to my mom’s house for movies and even more wine. I decided I should put my car in her driveway, so was walking on the street to my car…when I dropped my phone!!

10468308_10204247804341215_1371034577_o

YIKES!!!!

I always knew I was laidback, but this experience proved how laidback I really am. I dropped it, saw it shattered, and basically shrugged it off. I mean, seriously, what can you do about it? It happened, there’s no sense getting upset and letting it ruin my night. Luckily, it still works and I have my provider put a screen protector on it. Now I can at least use it without getting cut by shards of glass. I’ve checked around and I could replace the glass for $130. Or maybe I should wait until September when I’m eligible to upgrade. I’m not sure.

What would you do if you did this to your phone?

More c25k, Family activities, and a Weigh-in

I was sick all weekend. Actually, it’s been about a week and I’m finally feeling much better. Colds really wipe you out!! I didn’t eat the greatest while I was sick, but didn’t do terrible. I’m really trying to exercise at least every other day, so was bummed when I had to take a few days off. Friday I was home all day binge-watching Parenthood, and started to cry when a couple announced their engagement to the family. That’s how I knew I was sick for real. I get crazy emotional when I’m sick!

By Sunday, I was feeling well enough to get outside for my C25k workout. Today I completed Week 3 Day 2. I’ve been taking it slow for fear of pulling a calf muscle, but all has been going well, so I ran faster my last 30 seconds. I’m going to start doing bursts like that from now on. It felt great! I can’t believe how much easier this has become in the short time I’ve been doing it. I peeked ahead to Week 4 and must admit I’m both scared and excited to try it. There is a LOT more running starting with Week 4!

I think what I’m loving about c25k is I have an actual goal when I get outside. Not that I didn’t when I went for walks, or even when I did some jogging. But with this, it’s like I have a concrete goal. I have someone telling me when to run, and I want to complete the workout. By myself, it’s too easy to say I don’t want to run anymore so I’ll just walk the rest.

Last night I was very surprised when Marcus said we should go for some family bike rides on some bike trails. What?! Is this really my husband talking???? As kids we both loved riding bike. I’m sure I would again if I just did it. My daughters are riding their bikes real well, so once my son gets going, this is something we might actually do. I would LOVE to have a family day and actually DO something active. It’ll likely be a year or two before we do this, because Kody just got his bike and won’t pedal yet. But it’s something to look forward to. And by then, I WILL be more fit so I won’t feel so silly on a bike. We are slowly becoming more active as a family, and I love it.

Finally, it’s time to report my weigh-in. I was sick much of the week, but I managed to squeak out a 0.4 pound loss! I’m happy with that! I’m currently at 265 and anxious to get out of the 260s. Again. It’ll happen. Especially if I keep exercising.

I’m definitely feeling healthier and stronger these days!

Giving C25k another shot

Yes, you read that right. I am trying the C25k program again. I tried it once before, maybe a year ago. I made it through ONE workout. ONE! It was great, but then I started having foot problems or pulled my calf muscle. I don’t recall which it was as I’ve had problems with both.

I’m happy to report that this time I have made it through THREE workouts so far! I started late last week. During my first workout, at the end of my first jogging portion, my left calf muscle seized up. It freaked me out, for fear of pulling it and having to deal with an injury again. But I decided I would just take it easy during the jogging parts. I think I’ve been trying to jog too fast or something, so since then, I’ve gone at a nice slow pace. I’ve made it through three workouts, successfully, and it feels great!

I will go through the program slow. If I get to a workout that feels too hard, I’ll go back to another one, or keep repeating it until it gets easier. Whether or not I finish the program doesn’t really matter to me. I just like the structure and it pushes me to do something more strenuous than walking.

My steps have also increased dramatically over the long weekend. I hit an average of 10,000 steps four days in a row! That’s saying a lot since I usually have to push myself to get 7000 steps in a day. By last night, I was exhausted!

While I have been doing well on the exercise front, my eating has been anything but good. Despite my bad eating habits, my spirits are high and I feel better than I have in a long time. I feel more like my old self, the person I’ve been trying to find and figure out who she is with kids.

It was a really nice long weekend. Crops are planted (YAY!!), our vegetable garden is planted, kids were fairly well behaved, I had more patience with the kids, I got some regular exercise, I did some baking which I used to enjoy, the weather was perfect…it was great and I could use another day off of work. I hope this is a pattern that continues.

That’s about it for updates at the moment. I’m hoping to get outside for another c25k workout tonight. If it’s raining, I’ll need to clean my filthy house since it wasn’t  a priority at all over the weekend.

I feel SO much better when I’m productive and active!

 

Another birthday, and other updates

Birthdays are over in our house for this year! I’ll be giving a birthday party this weekend, so have a lot to do to get ready for it, but hopefully won’t have too many cupcakes leftover.

First, I’ll share a couple of photos from Allison’s 6th Birthday. She is such a little spitfire and really keeps me hopping, but she’s also such a sweet and fun little girl.

Here is her birthday cake. She wanted a minion cake, and not just any minion. She wanted some minion named Dave! Good thing Google helped me figure out which one he is.

Minion cake

Minion cake

She put her own candles on her cake, which is why some are on the minion. Oh well, it’s her cake!

Birthday Girl with her cake.

Birthday Girl with her cake.

And here she is with her American Girl doll, Kit. They have matching pajamas! Oh, and don’t you love our living room carpet! I hate it, but it’s still in good shape and we can’t afford to re-carpet that room yet.

Allison and Kit - matching pjs!

Allison and Kit – matching pjs!

Since I have pics from Kody’s birthday off my camera, here is one of him with his cake. I have to be fair, you know!

Kody with his cake.

Kody with his cake.

Now, onto other updates.

On Sunday, I went back to my eating plan that has worked for me before. I am not eating obvious sugars, bread, crackers, etc. Days I do well, I get 2 Dove dark chocolates before bed. I did 3 days successfully! Today I’m working at home, and I don’t know why, but just don’t feel like caring today. So, no chocolates tonight.

Back on track tomorrow, for sure!

The good news is I really only ate well for those 3 days, then had my weigh-in this morning. I lost 1.1 pounds this week! I will certainly take it. I weighed in at 260.6, so am determined to get out of the 260s by next week. And this time I will never see them again. Ugh.

Overall, I’m feeling good about my plan. I think the nightly chocolates will help so that I don’t feel so deprived. We’ll see…I’m definitely going to keep this up.

Oh, and my couponing is going well! In just 3 trips to Target, I’ve saved an average of $50 per trip! And I’m really only buying things I would be buying anyway. I will never be one of those people who buys things just because they’re cheap. I don’t care how good of a deal it is, if I’m not going to use it, it’s a waste of my time and money to buy it. I’m feeling a bit better about our financial situation, which is the point of me taking the time to do this.

Back to work now…I haven’t been very productive today. 🙂

Birthday and My New Plan

We are heavy into birthdays at my house right now. My son turned 3 last week, and my daughter turns 6 tomorrow. It’s a busy time and I will be glad when the birthday season is over.

Here are a couple of pictures from Kody’s birthday. I don’t have the one of him with his cake off the camera yet, which is just as well. He got scared when I lit the candles so I have pictures of him crying with his cake! Poor kid. But he LOVED his Scooby Doo cake, and his Planes bike. He’s getting so grown up!

Scooby cake

Scooby cake

Kody loves his Planes bike!

Kody loves his Planes bike!

I started my new food plan yesterday. My goal is to cut out the obvious sugars, bread, crackers, etc. Days I do well, I get 2 Dove dark chocolates. Yesterday was a pretty easy day and the chocolates were delicious! As long as I can limit it to 2 right before bed, I am hopeful this plan will work for me.

Tomorrow won’t be a great food day with my daughter’s birthday, but that’s okay. I’ll enjoy pizza for supper, followed by cake. No chocolates tomorrow night. This doesn’t give me free reign to eat whatever I want, though. I need to learn how to eat well all day, then indulge for the one meal ONLY. Then I have to be back on track Thursday.

I’m really hoping this will allow me some freedom to enjoy things like birthdays or family gatherings. I can and should be able to indulge a little bit for special events. As long as I’m doing well the rest of the time, and get back on track immediately after the event, I will be able to lose the weight and not deprive myself.

I have started adding friends on MyFitnessPal and am enjoying it. If you’d like to add me, my username is teresainmn.

I had another great Target trip last night. I saved $45! I spent $85 on some groceries, paper products and basic household necessities. Not everything was on sale, but since I’m now watching ads, I hope to only buy things we use regularly when they’re on sale…and hopefully I’ll have a coupon too. Boy, this takes a lot of time, but it sure is addicting!!

Couponing is really helping to lighten my stress level. I’m feeling hopeful and know we can get by with careful planning and cutting out of anything unnecessary.

Do you coupon? Do you have any pointers for me?

Must. Stay. Busy.

I’m working at home today and already feeling the pull of the Easter baskets. But if I give in, I won’t be able to stop and I will never reach my goals. If I can stay on track and make healthy choices today, it will be empowering and help me get through tomorrow.

Yesterday was a great day. I went for a walk when I got home from work. I usually try to jog as much as I can, but I wasn’t feeling it last night. So I just walked and enjoyed the spring weather.

After I got home, ate a healthy supper and put kids to bed, I got to work clipping coupons. I have just started couponing and knew I had to get them organized. It took at hour to clip them! Today I need to organize them into groups. It was a nice project to work on while I was watching The Voice, and kept my hands busy so I didn’t feel the need to snack.

Speaking of The Voice, I cannot believe Dani was voted out! She is amazing and one of my favorites. Do you watch it? Who are some of your favorites?

My goal is to stay busy today, so I don’t think about eating senselessly. I have a bunch of little projects I can do when I need a break from work, which will help keep me moving and my mind occupied. I always do better when I keep myself moving!

Do you have any tricks that help to keep you from eating unnecessarily?