Here I go again…not blogging…
I’ve been doing okay, but still up and down as far as am I on track or not. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking the past few weeks, and don’t really have any answers.
I know I am overwhelmed with life most of the time…work, kids, housework, no time for me…and I’m not really doing well at any of this stuff. That’s never how I used to be, before kids. I’m not blaming my kids, but I have really struggled with adjusting to life with kids. I totally let myself go in each and every way. My co-workers don’t realize it, but I’m not longer a star employee. My house is a mess…I have learned to let a lot of things go but I feel better when things are more picked up. I rarely have time for me. Heck, I don’t even have a spot in my house I can go to get away. It’s too small. Honestly, the only place I can go is to lock myself in the bathroom, and then I still hear all the chaos on the other side of the door.
I feel like I never have time for ME. I’m trying to get it all together, but am not really making progress.
And maybe tracking food feels like one more chore I have to do? Even though I pretty much eat the same stuff and am learning to estimate better, even if it’s not exact. For example, I made chili this weekend and found a chili with meat and beans that seems like the calorie count is pretty close. So I use that, and do similar things when I don’t want to enter my recipe and all that.
I also know I am an emotional eater. Big time. Especially when I am stressed or mad, which seems to be all the time these days. When it’s nice out, I can go for a walk or run when my husband is around, and it helps immensely. But this time of year, I can’t do that.
The good news is I have been making a much bigger effort at getting more steps in. I’ve been doing a lot of jogging in place. It’s a great way to pile on the steps, and I can do just a little bit here and there instead of needing to carve out 30 minutes to do an exercise video or whatever.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to turn this into a big sob story. I’ve actually been thinking about all this a lot lately and wonder if it’s time to find a therapist. I know what a lot of my issues are, but am not doing the best at dealing with them. Or go to the doctor and get back on anti-depressants. I know they won’t solve everything, but they definitely help people like me cope.
I am completely open to any advice anyone has. I want to figure this out so I can tackle it and move on to a healthier life!