Time for Action

Here I go again…not blogging…

I’ve been doing okay, but still up and down as far as am I on track or not. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking the past few weeks, and don’t really have any answers.

I know I am overwhelmed with life most of the time…work, kids, housework, no time for me…and I’m not really doing well at any of this stuff. That’s never how I used to be, before kids. I’m not blaming my kids, but I have really struggled with adjusting to life with kids. I totally let myself go in each and every way. My co-workers don’t realize it, but I’m not longer a star employee. My house is a mess…I have learned to let a lot of things go but I feel better when things are more picked up. I rarely have time for me. Heck, I don’t even have a spot in my house I can go to get away. It’s too small. Honestly, the only place I can go is to lock myself in the bathroom, and then I still hear all the chaos on the other side of the door.

I feel like I never have time for ME. I’m trying to get it all together, but am not really making progress.

And maybe tracking food feels like one more chore I have to do? Even though I pretty much eat the same stuff and am learning to estimate better, even if it’s not exact. For example, I made chili this weekend and found a chili with meat and beans that seems like the calorie count is pretty close. So I use that, and do similar things when I don’t want to enter my recipe and all that.

I also know I am an emotional eater. Big time. Especially when I am stressed or mad, which seems to be all the time these days. When it’s nice out, I can go for a walk or run when my husband is around, and it helps immensely. But this time of year, I can’t do that.

The good news is I have been making a much bigger effort at getting more steps in. I’ve been doing a lot of jogging in place. It’s a great way to pile on the steps, and I can do just a little bit here and there instead of needing to carve out 30 minutes to do an exercise video or whatever.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to turn this into a big sob story. I’ve actually been thinking about all this a lot lately and wonder if it’s time to find a therapist. I know what a lot of my issues are, but am not doing the best at dealing with them. Or go to the doctor and get back on anti-depressants. I know they won’t solve everything, but they definitely help people like me cope.

I am completely open to any advice anyone has. I want to figure this out so I can tackle it and move on to a healthier life!

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4 thoughts on “Time for Action

  1. Follow your instincts, Teresa. If seeking someone to talk with is calling to you then go for it. Just remember, there are no “shoulds” in life. If you decide something is worth doing, then do it. If it’s not, then don’t stress over it. In terms of a perfect home; cleanliness is one thing, clutter is another. Unless you are trying to feng shui your abode.

    Taking care of yourself first is allowed. When you feel good and healthy in all aspects, everything around you starts to fall into place…or maybe it just seems less daunting.

    • I really don’t care about the clutter anymore. I’ve learned to accept it. My house isn’t filthy by any means, but not as clean as I’d like, and I just don’t have the energy to do much about it. I need to start teaching my girls to help more, but that also takes a lot of energy and patience, which I don’t have right now.

      I agree I need to take care of myself first. I’m doing better at making healthy choices, and am hopeful once I make more progress and feel even better, the other stuff will be a bit easier to deal with.

  2. I’m sorry that you are stressed and struggling. Sometimes venting about it is helpful.

    I probably am not the right person to be giving you advice since I don’t have kids and have never gone to therapy, but therapy seems to be an effective way for dealing with stress, anxiety, and depression just from what I’ve heard from people I know. Do you have somewhat easy access to a therapist?

    It also sounds like you are in serious need of some YOU time with a lot of R&R. Maybe a vacation without the kids is a possibility? Or is there regular times when your husband can be with the kids while you get out of the house for something relaxing?

    • I’m sure I could find a therapist that would work with my availability…but I also know all therapists aren’t created equal, so finding the right one could take time. I don’t know…

      I definitely need a real vacation. BAD! More than a day or a weekend away. I’ve also been wanting regular time to myself, but it’s really hard with my husband’s schedule. He works fulltime, then also works on our farm as much as he can. I don’t know what the answer is, but I’ll keep trying.

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