I just had a meltdown. I have been on the verge of a breakdown all week. This happens this time every year. It makes me wonder if the job is worth it. Yet they are incredibly flexible with me, and for the most part, I enjoy my core responsibilities. And, if I found another job, it would probably be at least a $3/hour pay cut. I just plain can’t afford that.
It has been a week from hell. The sheer quantity of work to do is overwhelming. And the political internal bull shit in the office is absurd. Seriously, do people have nothing better to do than raise a stink about such stupid shit? Luckily, I don’t have to deal with much of it. But I am crabby this week and won’t let people walk all over me just because they think they can. This is not the week to mess with me.
My eating has been out of control. I make choices that are anything but healthy. Well, I do start out healthy. Breakfast and lunch are almost always good. But the rest of the day is not good. And I’ve been drinking wine many nights. I know I should be making healthier choices. I don’t like that I’m undoing the work I have already done. But part of me doesn’t care right now.
This kind of behavior is not worth it. I’m not making excuses, but my stress level is through the roof. Three weeks and my project is out the door. Probably two more weeks of insane hours.
I don’t feel good. My body is craving healthy foods. I have some bell peppers here, so think I will make some Scrambled Egg Boats for lunch. Even if I put cheese on it, it’s way better than the things I’ve been eating.
I am also going for a jog today. I went twice last weekend. I don’t remember if I blogged about it or not. That’s how crazy things are. I’m losing my mind. But I am finding out what an amazing stress reliever running is. I have always hated running. Always. But it is the one exercise that can pretty much eliminate my stress for the time being. And I like how I can burn more calories in a shorter period of time. Bonus. I’m not fast. I don’t do much at a time. But I’m doing it.
I will go for a jog in a little while. I can’t wait. Honest!