I have been in a funk for a few weeks now. I’m not totally sinking into the bottomless pit of despair, yet I can’t quite pull myself out of this. I think my depression is back. Perhaps it was never really gone. Or perhaps I will go through these episodes for the rest of my life. I need to figure out how to get through them without too much damage to my health.
I always have good intentions. Always. But then something happens and I start in on the self-destructing habits. I get mad. I get busy with work. I feel pulled in too many directions. I don’t have any down-time. I don’t get enough sleep. It’s too hot. I could go on and on with the things that get me off track. Emotional eating definitely has a hold on me.
I should probably see a therapist. I’ve made a lot of progress on my own, but I also know I could benefit from a professional. I’m open-minded and honest enough with myself, that I know it would help. But time and money are both a luxury and I have very little of both.
One thing I’ve been thinking about lately is Overeaters Anonymous. Last week I looked into it briefly, and there are many meetings in my area. They’re free, although I still have the time factor. It could be done though, if I want it bad enough. They also have online meetings, so I will look more into that first. My homework for today is to do more research about OA.
In the meantime, I need to be more mindful of what I’m eating. Am I really hungry? Am I trying to fill a void? Is this the food my body is really craving? Will it cure my craving or trigger more cravings?
I also need to track EVERYTHING I EAT! Even if I go over my calories, I need to be accountable for what I put in my mouth. I like MyFitnessPal because at the end of the day, you can click the button that estimates what you will weigh in 5 weeks if every day were like that day. It’s fun to see how low the number could be. If I stay on track.
I am ready to get out of this funk.